“I’ve stopped believing
in love at first sight
but I do believe
in love at first conversation
when words fit together
in perfect cadence
Romeo and Juliet’s single sonnet
only the tragedy here is
you are not coming
to wake me up.”
Meghan.
I am curled up in my
own discomfort.
Sometimes I think
I am spinning in
the opposite direction of the world.
Sometimes
people ask us the wrong questions
so we cannot give the
the right answers
but the worst part is when
we become those people
and we ask ourselves
the wrong questions
because we are terrified
of hearing the right answers
DON’T EVER STOP HOPPING FENCES.
“it’s so embarrassing to need someone like i do you.”
“Stop ruining love by wanting it so bad.”
Derrick Brown
“I laughed and said, Life is easy. What I meant was, Life is easy with you here, and when you leave, it will be hard again.”
No One Belongs Here More Than You Do by Miranda July
No One Belongs Here More Than You Do by Miranda July
“I was in the winter of my life, and the men I met along the road were my only summer.
And if I said I didn’t plan for it to turn out this way I’d be lying…
Because I was born to be the other woman.
I belonged to no one, who belonged to everyone.
Who had nothing, who wanted everything, with a fire for every experience and an obsession for freedom that terrified me to the point that I couldn’t even talk about it, and pushed me to a nomadic point of madness that both dazzled and dizzied me.”
“You’re going to leave me, aren’t you? … You’ve had enough of me, haven’t you? You’re probably so tired of all this crying and all these moods, and I’ve got to tell you, so am I. So am I. Sometimes it seems like my mind has a mind of its own, like I just get hysterical, like it’s something I can’t control at all. And I don’t know what to do, and I feel so sorry for you because you don’t know what to do either. And I’m sure you’re going to leave me now.”
Elizabeth Wurtzel, Prozac Nation
Elizabeth Wurtzel, Prozac Nation
“I know
you and I
are not about poems or
other sentimental bullshit
but I have to tell you
even the way
you drink your coffee
knocks me the fuck out.”
Clementine von Radics
are not about poems or
other sentimental bullshit
but I have to tell you
even the way
you drink your coffee
knocks me the fuck out.”
Clementine von Radics
“he said why would you choose me if you could have anyone”’
“because baby anyone isn’t you.”
“because baby anyone isn’t you.”
me and boy
sometimes you have to act like you don’t care even when you do care,
alot.
“It hurts because it mattered.”
John Green
“I don’t think you realise how difficult it is to be friends with you.”
“Because i don’t dump my problems on everybody?”
“Because you’re sad and you won’t talk about it.”
“Because i don’t dump my problems on everybody?”
“Because you’re sad and you won’t talk about it.”
they say ‘opposites attract’ but i think
people like us fall in love with people
like us.
we fall in love with ourselves.
i think it takes more than just anyone
to be with one of us. we see the deeper parts
of people. we long for their souls,
for their gardens of thought,
for feeling their backbone, their spine,
inhaling the words they breathe.
we see more in people because of what we
know ourselves.
i think we fall in love with people like us,
people with beautiful words,
and thoughts, and the glances at strangers and
artistry. we can’t just wake up in
the morning.
and go to work.
we want to lie in bed,
count the freckles on our shoulders,
how many times a rain
drop
hits
the window.
we breathe differently. we strive off of beauty,
that’s why we can’t settle,
for just anyone,
who’s different. there’s got to be a person
we find beauty in. who thinks, and feels, and
wonders.
as remarkably as we sometimes do.
i think we fall into people who are a lot like us.
because they understand,
appreciate,
relate.
and know the way we experience and feel.
and i think that's important.
they say opposites attract, like magnets, they’re
pulled, from different places, ending up together.
but we don’t need opposites, or magnetic force
we’re on the same side, north or south,
we don’t need to be pulled together.
we’re already there.
(because people say things and this is my
explanation for them)
“Soul-mates are for dreamers, but I think I saw you in my sleep..”
“The things she most wanted to tell him would lose their meaning the moment she put them into words.”
Haruki Murakam
Add a piece to your body,
from the things that want to be forgotten,
and make new friends,
because the one you’ve got are rotten.
Even on top of the flood,
i hope there’s no smell of blood
because all i ask for
is the promise in friendship,
and nothing more.
The arrow points away,
but don’t go astray,
for the ones who love,
are the ones who pay.
rid your life of the mold,
for even when its cold,
remember to look down,
and stay gold.
You’re always lending a hand
and i’m amazed at the length,
in which you stand.
For you show such strength,
for someone so fragile,
but how i wonder,
what’s really hiding behind that smile.
you love like another.
i don’t know you.
a.e
“Do not tell everyone your story. You will only end up feeling more rejected. People cannot give you what you long for in your heart. The more you expect from people’s response to your experience of abandonment, the more you will feel exposed to ridicule.”
Henri J. M. Nouwen
Henri J. M. Nouwen
“Why should we think nudity is such a revolting thing in a land where there is so much violence and corruption and racism and hatred? Nudity seems like a welcome relief from all the bullshit in life.”
Anthony Kiedis
Anthony Kiedis
Sometimes I think I want to die
but in reality
I crave a love so deep
that the sky
would paint itself green
with envy.
The calming touch of a lover’s hands
could replace the yearning
for the cool darkness
and calming silence
and the sureness
of death’s promise.
The warm breath
on my neck
might soften my stone heart.
I clench my fists
to keep from grasping
to something that is only temporary.
But if I found
a hand that fit
the crevices of mine
I might let my walls down
and hold on
to he who will stay.
As far as my limbs will go,
I will wrap myself
around you.
O.F
“In a sense, I’m the one who ruined me: I did it myself.”
Haruki Murakami.
Marilyn Manson
January-December 2012
happy fits of rage, melodramatic, dance bruises, january, lost in translating, kiss, single, start the new year with lies, catch, party hopping, shaking, february, 14th ruined, forgave to quickly, kissing the wrong boy goodnight, catching the last train, not getting in, puppy eyes, march, short time romancing, hating the future, everyone you need to know is here, stop texting, april, tenby, 100’s of messages, always late, sneak, large bottles, noo/yeah, red eyes,dry hump, talking for hours, “met someone amazing” pushing boys, love bite, may running round bristol, being vindictive,marathons, topless running, venus fly traps, june, skype, runaway boy “friends”, too much red, keeping it sweet, oh liar liar, having nothing better to do, heat, share the sofa, july, real english breakfast, fill me a bath, weed, weed and more weed, escape to L, juggling, g, leather burns, all work, tanlines, night turn into day, waiting for parties, grabbing, coming down, deserts, august, single girl cocktails, you cheat, search through my shit, ya shit, hand overs, tattoo’s, end it all letters, should i have chased after you?, did you wait?, tattoo, ex boyfriends, spanking, biting, strangers, running away, come downz, underage, losing my journal, after-hours, out of control, takes one cunt to ruin it all, one night stands with ugly boys, act your age, being depressed with the weather, being depressed still, coming to terms, this is it, begging, pleading, it wasn’t all bad was it? september, 9.00am house parties, laughing gas, now we drink champagne when were thirsty, when you’re twenty one you’re no fun, white dress, broken iphone, first dates, p-diddy, PG KISSING, get the job, he has a girlfriend, other people’s houses, arriving at daniels unannounced, feeling nauseous, sweater weather, dark, birthday nookie, october, notts, bristol, crazy/beautiful, porn, R.I.P, centre parcs, bike rides, binkini moment, ex-boyfriend sneaking into my room, J, second dates its all over, nicotine hot boxing, bug bites, falling in love with a mystical boy who can’t be fallen in love with, EATING OUT, being mad at tease mike, that one significant party, special K with a special boy, fighting, taxi with him, halloween, wednesday, sunday,lazy lover bed, climax, false alarms, being freezing, witnessing the end of the it girls, in the darkroom for days, november, thinking i couldn’t live without him (how wrong was i?), friends again (but nothing to say) broken glass, A&E, love, no more break ups with dreamy, chasing, the after after party, champagne, throwbacks, need it most, losing sleep, night after night, december, 12/12/12, end of you know i love you xoxo, lost friends, 21/12/12, pills, nose pieced, the shakes, so cold, cuddling, blanket forts, honey, out of control, vodka kiss, ambition, christmas eve up the keys, ex-boyfriend central, get o u t of my life, crying, cunt, terrible christmas eve, escape to the other world, the vault, laughing gas, disappointments, new years, this year has gone to quickly. I am thankful for everyone who has shaped me this year. I’m finally coming to terms with myself.
Tonight is an end of an era, I hope you are wearing black, we’re in mourning.
at midnight, when all the leaves are dead and all the bottles have smashed for the new year, i’m watching the world pass by. everyone is embracing each other, spreading the joy of possibilities. the future. i can’t wait either. so bring it on. please. oh bring it on ‘cause i am so ready.
“We all wear masks. I guess we just have to be brave enough to remove it one day.”
“And when I asked you how you’d been, I meant I missed you more than I’ve ever missed anything before.”
Iain Thomas, I Wrote This For You
“People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that’s what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that is holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life.
A soul mate’s purpose is to shake you up, tear apart your ego a little bit, show you your obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so new light can get in, make you so desperate and out of control that you have to transform your life…”
EG
“If we wait until we’re ready, we’ll be waiting for the rest of our lives.”
Lemony Snicket
“Maybe….you’ll fall in love with me all over again.”
“Hell,” I said, “I love you enough now. What do you want to do? Ruin me?”
“Yes. I want to ruin you.”
“Good,” I said. “That’s what I want too.
Ernest Hemingway
“I craved him constantly, so deeply it was a physical ache”
“I am only responsible for my own heart, you offered yours up for the smashing, my darling. Only a fool would give out such a vital organ.”
Anaïs Nin
Anaïs Nin
“I am so indecisive when it comes to love, I think that’s my problem.”
“We must be our own before we can be another’s.”
Ralph Waldo Emerson
“It all comes down to the last person you think of at night. That’s where the heart is”
"As if to build a fence around the fatal emptiness inside her, she had to create a sunny person that she became. But if you peeled away the ornamental egos that she had built, there was only an abyss of nothingness and the intense thirst that came with it. Though she tried to forget it, the nothingness would visit her periodically - on a lonely rainy afternoon, or at dawn when she woke up from a nightmare. What she needed at such times was to be held by someone, anyone.
When people make accusations of cheating it tends to stem from 3 places:
Fear and insecurity based on past experiences or your past that have them feeling paranoid
Mistaking certain behaviours from you as indicators of cheating -hypersensitivity
They are cheating
